This is one of the many reasons I ♥ Seattle. It's grey today, it's raining like a mofo, there is lightning and thunder and now there is hail.
Suits my mood.
I need to quit listening to Elliot Smith.
April 2004 Archives
So I guess I can talk about it but I'm not too sure what to say. Melinda and are are splitting up. Today is moving day for her. I can't afford to move, I wish I could, but that's just the way things work out. It's going to hurt everyday to go home to the place where I thought we were happy. Where we made plans and thought about our life together. I guess that too will change and eventually it will just become a place that I live, because after today it really doesn't feel like a home.
One day you are married, in what you think is a long term commited relationship, then one day your whole life has changed. What I thought my life was going to be, where I thought I was going and who I thought I was going to do that with has changed.
I'm not too sure what to do now, where do I go from here. I'm sure I'm going to be ok but right now it hurts like hell. I think that if I weren't in school I might come unglued, but this pain in the ass that is known as Graduate School is what is keeping me together.
I just can't afford to fall apart.
Maybe I'll do that when I'm all done with school. Go off some place and sit on a beach for a while and try to figure out what the fuck happend and what all this means.
Oh yeah, beer should be involved.
My life is hard right now and making me very sad. I'm not really ready to talk about it all but it spills over into almost everything I do. I think it's great tho just how many people let me know that they care about me and are concerned that I'm doing ok. Sometimes I think I'm kind of a jerk, maybe a funny jerk, but a jerk none the less; yet for some reason people seem to like me. Aw crap, I don't know...
School is going fairly well and I'm digging it for the most part. Kinda hard to focus this quarter, but school is busy enough to force me to focus.
How did I get here and what do I do now?
